a guy walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, if i show you something extraordinary can i drink for nothing,the bartender says i've seen everything under the sun in here, but sure give it a shot.the guy pulls out a tiny piano, and a man that is only 12 inches tall, the tiny man starts playing like no ones ever heard before,the bartender says thats amazing,where did you get him,well i found a bottle on the beach and i rubbed the sand off and a jeanie popped out and granted me one wish! wow that is something can i try it,so the bartender rubs the bottle and asks the jeanie for a million bucks, all of a sudden it gets dark, its starts raining and a million ducks fly through tha guys bar wrecking the place,holy crap i askes for a million bucks, not a million ducks, what is that jeanie deaf?!!! and the guy says to him, and you think i asked for a 12 inch pianist!!!
Best Answer
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Naughty, dawelda, naughty!! :-)
Try this:
SLOW DRIVING HABITS
A man and a woman were dating. She being of a religious nature had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so bad. In fact, he had never even seen her naked.
One day, as they drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits.
"I can't stand it anymore," she told him. "Let's play a game. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing.
He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car.
He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse.
At 60 off came the pants.
At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties.
Now seeing her naked for the first time and travelling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost control of the car. He veered off the road, went over an embankment and hit a tree. His girlfriend was not hurt but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free but alas he was stuck.
"Go to the road and get help," he said. "I don't have anything to cover myself with!" she replied. The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes. "You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up," he told her.
So she did as he said and went up to the road for help. Along came a truck driver. Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to hear her story.
"My boyfriend! My boyfriend!" she sobs, "He's stuck and I can't pull him out!"
The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs replies, "Ma'am, if he's in that far, I'm afraid he's a goner!"
Source www.lifeisajoke.com
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A man walks up to his Wife of 60 years after their Wedding Anniversary. He sweeps her up in a hug and asks her:" My love, what was the best thing to come out of my penis in the last 40 years? Our son or our daughter?" The wife pauses, thinks it over, and says.."The wrinkles". lol!!
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Man walks into a New York bar wearing a ten gallon hat, and a gun in a holster. He is carrying a bucket of shit, and a sack. "Bartender give me a shot of whiskey", he says..
Then he downs the shot, takes out his gun and fires into the bucket.
Reaches into the bag and pulls out a cat and takes a bite out of it.
The cat screams!
The bartender asks, "what the hell are you doing!"
He says well down in Texas, I heard all you people do up here, is drink whiskey, shoot the shit, and eat pussy!
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adw61
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