2 of my aunts put up with it for years, it stopped when their husbands died.

Well sometimes its a love thing its hard to understand but when someone close is doing it then you feel confused and upset and just blank it out that it isnt happening and they would never hurt you
But if it is from someone who isn't close then its fear i mean if someone is hurting you for no reason then you think well if i tell then i have done something wrong and it will get worse
And some people think if i tell or try to get away from this i have no one who will look after me or love me no where to go
And they may think people wont beivle them because they have been broken they will think no one cares
These women and even men NEED to know that there is life without abuse and you dont have to put up with it
1) go to the police
2) tell someone close to you
3) get away from the abuse

Its hard to think about your life when in this sitution you just dont want to be hurt no more but you are scared

Hope this helped :)

The reason is fear.

Fear for her life. Having already been physically abused, it would be easy to scare her with a threat of hurting her again or even killing her if she ever tries to leave.

Fear for others. Sometimes, the abuser threatens to hurt the victim's loved ones if the latter decides to leave.

Fear of being alone/being rejected. Oftentimes, an abused person is made to believe that she is ugly, worthless, useless, dumb & must be thankful that he (the abuser) still puts up with her because nobody else will. He controls her & takes charge of everything in her life, making her feel weak & helpless & unable to survive without him.

Fear of failing in the relationship. Here, pride sometimes comes in. Some just don't want to be labelled a failure in relationships so they try to hang on to it, trying to convince themselves by making excuses for the abusive acts & still hoping that their partners will change & be back to being the nice persons they initially knew them to be. There is also the case of some married couples with kids. The abused will try to save the relationship usually for the sake of the kids.

Fear of the unknown. Breaking from the relationship would mean change, & for someone with low self esteem, poor self-image & lacking in self-confidence, this is pretty scary.

You tell me!

I was abused and stayed for years, it isnt as easy as people think, I loved him to death. I had a very confused childhood and when i met this man it showed me a way to leave home. I had a child when the abuse started so that made it harder to leave. I did try but had no where to go. My local council wouldn help, I had several private interviews with the housing manager and told them (with great difficulty) what was happening to me, I even told them about the time he told me he would kill me. they told me to go to a hostal, but i was to scared to go there with a child. I asked my only friend if i could stay with her but she refused.Not only that if I told him I was going to leave he said he would kill himself, I didn want that i still loved him and he was my sons father. He used to cry at my feet and beg me to stay saying i was all he had and couldn live without me. Also there was the fact of how am i going to cope, with the abuse he injured my back so i cant work now some times i would be bed ridden for days. I had no money no one to turn to and no where to go. It was the most difficult and upsetting time ov my life finally getting the courage to go, People who havent been through it will never understand how difficult it is to leave when your emotionally held to some one. I still havn forgiven myself for leaving him, They get to you emotionally, I still dont understand why i feel guilty, he physically,mentally and sexually abused me i know this, but i am still the one who feels guilty.Can anyone explain this to me?

You answered your own question. No self-esteem. It is one of the first things you lose to an abuser. Once you have no self-esteem, you become convinced that (a) if you could just be a better person, wife, mother, whatever, then he wouldn't need to "discipline" you or (b) you don't have what it takes to make it on your own, should you decide to make a break for it.
Creating this mindset in the abused is part of the abuse. Domestic Abuse is the most prevalent version of prolonged torture we know. The very purpose of prolonged torture is to break the spirit of the victim. It is hellishly effective.
In the cold light of harsh reality, it is no surprise that they stay.
The thing to remember is this: Although, to a rational person, it makes no sense to stay and continue being a victim, the circumstances, by definition, are irrational. You cannot apply rational thought to understand irrational behavior. That is why criminal investigators (especially profilers) are taught to think like the criminal. This is the only way to truly understand what drives him.

me and my mother lived through that for thirteen years i ended up with 23 broken bones altogether and she didn't have it any better. when i asked her why she told me it was because she was scared but, you need to understand that when someone is abused like that its not just physical. the abuser tears you down mentally until you honestly believe you are the the one doing something wrong and you do deserve it. i think she stayed because she didn't believe in herself enough to leave. whatever your dealing with i really hope it works out.

I personaly don't know anyone that has had that such a life although its on the news alll the time.
I think that they would be a shell of a person and i do know people that has been abused sexualy and the are never right to the point of normal as the abuser rec's the recever's life.
They stay waiting for a way out another person or friend maybe as the y are very scared!!