MY SON IS 17 IN A FEW WEEKS.THE PROBLEM IS HE HAS GOT IN WITH THE WRONG CROWD,SINCE THEN HE HAS BECOME ABUSIVE TO ME-HE HAS NOT HIT ME-YET! BUT HE MIGHT ONE DAY.HE IS CONSTANTLY TELLING ME THAT IM A F****** BITCH AND HOW HE HATES ME.HE USED TO BE SO LOVING AND CARING BUT NOW NOTHING. I REALLY DONT NO WOT TO DO,WE HAVE THROWN HIM OUT BEFORE, HE CAME BACK SAYING HE WAS SORRY BLAH BLAH BLAH BUT THE NEXT DAY HE WAS BACK TO HIS NOW USUAL SELF.I REALLY DONT NO WOT TO DO ANYMORE.
I have two solutions for you depending on your finances. If you can afford it, send him to a military boarding school. I promise you he will learn some respect and have a chance to make something of himself.
If that is too expensive, find a boot camp to send him to. You must break the bad companion associations. That takes overwhelming watchfulness or a new environment. Throwing him out is no solution. He is too young for that. If you can't lay down the rules, get him somewhere where they will.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ANSWER.MONEY IS VERY TIGHT AT THE MOMENT.I HAVE JUST COME OFF THE PHONE TO A SUPPORTED HOUSING ASSOCIATION,OUR SON HAS AN APPOINTMENT NEXT WEEK.IF HE QUALIFYS THEN HE WILL BE PLACED IN A SHARED HOUSE, WILL HAVE HIS OWN KEY WORKER THAT WILL HELP HIM WITH ALLSORTS-TEMPER ETC.I AM KEEPING MY FINGERS AND EVERYTHING ELSE CROSSED THAT THIS WILL WORK.
heather_june
Heather - 'THING' !!!! / Addams Family Camper!!!
Answered 4 months ago
2
You and your husband have to make him give you respect. Your son must learn that there are consequenses for actions. I think you should both ground him and stop his privileges. If he should become violent, your only recourse is to phone the police. Your son is asking for the line to be drawn, draw it very clearly. You cannot have a situation whereby your son rules and disrespects you both; there will be fireworks but you have to stamp this out now by whatever means.
Additional Details added 4 months ago
If you have to throw him out then do so, he Must learn that you won't put up with his abuse, and keep him out, don't allow him back the next day for the same thing to start all over again. You will have to put your foot down and keep it down. Tell him he had his chance the last time and he blew it!
Spot on Heather! The parents should also let him know that since they suck as parents, he can feel free to become emancipated and not have to deal with them anymore, all on his dime, of course.
WE TRIED THIS OVER AND OVER AGAIN. IN FACT WE HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING WE CAN THINK OF.SINCE HE STARTED HANGING AROUND WITH THIS CERTAIN GROUP-THERE IS NO GETTING THROUGH TO HIM AT ALL.EVERYTHING HE AND THIS GROUP SAY IS RIGHT-CUS THEY NO EVERYTHING!- AND MUM AND DAD DONT NO ANYTHING.
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I have two solutions for you depending on your finances. If you can afford it, send him to a military boarding school. I promise you he will learn some respect and have a chance to make something of himself.
If that is too expensive, find a boot camp to send him to. You must break the bad companion associations. That takes overwhelming watchfulness or a new environment. Throwing him out is no solution. He is too young for that. If you can't lay down the rules, get him somewhere where they will.