I've been away from Askpedia because someone close to me just had a death in their family. Needless to say it's been very hard for all of us since it was sudden and unexpected.
I know people deal with death, mourning, and recovery differently but I would like suggestions on how to help someone through this process. I haven't gone through it personally so it's going to be hard for me to relate. If you've gone through something similar, I would love to hear from you.
There are many ways to comfort someone who is grieving. The best way is to tell the person that you are here for him/her, tell him/her to remember the good times and be patient. Let the person be alone after you tell him/her that and let him/her be. You can always bring the person some food now and then.
The person will eventually need someone to talk to and he/she will feel very happy to know you are there. All you can do for the person is listen and try to understand what he/she is going through. Hugs are extremely nice to give when someone is grieving. Everyone grieves differently, so just follow his/her lead. Take the person out to watch a good, nice movie or a meal.
You can get a group of family and friends and make a photo album. That would be nice to give to the person.
You could embrace them and say prayers for them, or you could spend more time with them and do things that will make them happy. Or if you have one you could look at old photographs of the deceased and tell stories about some of the pictures. That what we did when my father passed away 2 years ago from phenomenia.
Fro my own experience, I would suggest letting them know you are there for them. Let them talk and if needed let them cry. Don't be afraid to cry with them. Let them know that with time things will get easier, because it does.
I lost my oldest son four years ago in an ATV, accident. No parent wants to see their children pass away before they do, the grieving process was very difficult for me, but with family, friends & the grace of God, I took each day as it comes & realized that my son wouldent have wanted me to be overwhelmed & consumed by his death. He would have wanted me to get on with my life. I still think of him, every day of my life but I think of all the good things not the bad thing that took him from us.
To grieve so much that your making everyone around you feel uncomfortable is not the way to go either, you know your loved one wouldent want that. Get on with your life & thank God you had them in your life for as long as you did.
Be there to listen with a box of Kleenex. There is not much you can say but, as you said people deal with a death differently, and it is healing for some to just be able to talk...about their feelings, about death, about the deceased, etc.
Some people just want to be left alone to deal with their feelings by themselves. Give them space if they want it, but let them know that you are there for them, for any reason. It is about all you CAN do.
Just understand that they may be angry and that it isn't directed at you personally. Be patient and understanding. Be supportive and be a friend.
The best feeling in the world when things are traumatic is to know that you have a real friend who will be there if you need them (and even if you don't).
just be there for them whenever they need you, and don't try to talk about it and say " So are you okay?" Just be there. You don't even have to talk, just sitting next to them is enough.
There's a lot of good advice from others already. The only thing I will add is that you need to be extremely patient and understanding with that person. When people suffer from grief, they can exhibit unusual behavior and wildly fluctuating moods that can be extremely difficult to everyone around them. When this happens, you really need to be extra patient and understanding to help them through it instead of ignoring them or being judgmental.
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There are many ways to comfort someone who is grieving. The best way is to tell the person that you are here for him/her, tell him/her to remember the good times and be patient. Let the person be alone after you tell him/her that and let him/her be. You can always bring the person some food now and then.
The person will eventually need someone to talk to and he/she will feel very happy to know you are there. All you can do for the person is listen and try to understand what he/she is going through. Hugs are extremely nice to give when someone is grieving. Everyone grieves differently, so just follow his/her lead. Take the person out to watch a good, nice movie or a meal.
You can get a group of family and friends and make a photo album. That would be nice to give to the person.