It would appear that you recognize that you have a problem. That's the first step. Are you ready to do what is necessary to take care of it? It's not an easy monkey to get off of your back and you will be dealing with it every day for the rest of your life.
You mentioned that you have kids. Your kids deserve a father that is sober and able to be a father to them. You deserve to have a relationship with them that is not destroyed by alcohol.
If you are ready, you can ask your doctor for antabuse. This is a drug that will make you violently ill if you drink. It is aversion training. Think Clockwork Orange. Join AA. Find a sponsor that will help you get on the right track.
If you think you are ready to commit to getting your life back, then go for the gold. Good luck. I wish you the best.
Face your demons! What's really important to you? Who are you hurting besides yourself? Do they deserve this? Who's in control here? Do you really want help? I'm here for you! Just reach out!
Listen to the words, Demon Alcohol has all the power and knows it will win as long as you keep using it. You can get help now, before it strips you of evey chance for a good future. Ozzy is trying to warn all of us about the demons he faced.
I liked this rendition of Demon Alcohol on youtube.
Gathered together a couple of dozen books on the Demon Alcohol and reminded yourself how hard you tried to "cure" yourself with various alternative methods such as Rational Recover, Moderation Management, Health Recovery and others.
AA is surely a godsend for millions. But it isn't such a "simple program" when one scratches beneath the surface.
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It would appear that you recognize that you have a problem. That's the first step. Are you ready to do what is necessary to take care of it? It's not an easy monkey to get off of your back and you will be dealing with it every day for the rest of your life.
You mentioned that you have kids. Your kids deserve a father that is sober and able to be a father to them. You deserve to have a relationship with them that is not destroyed by alcohol.
If you are ready, you can ask your doctor for antabuse. This is a drug that will make you violently ill if you drink. It is aversion training. Think Clockwork Orange. Join AA. Find a sponsor that will help you get on the right track.
If you think you are ready to commit to getting your life back, then go for the gold. Good luck. I wish you the best.