I have never had an issue with gender preference. I do have an issue with ingorance. I feel that the emotional intelligence that is required to deal acceptance is actually greater than the standard intelligence that we pride ourselves on. When we stop looking and thinking past our comfort zones, we start to stagnate emotionally and stop growing as individuals.
I have seen so much change in my life, and it is change that is long overdue. I have seen the Civil Rights Movement , the Equal Rights Movement, 18 year olds getting the vote, and now people being courageous enough to come out and claim their gender preferences despite horrendous opposition.
Good people are good people regardless of age, sex, race or gender preference. It is your quality that will shine through and be noticed by others.

Your added information on how society fuels the fires of ignorance and descrimination, is so true. The gender roles that have been assigned to us are so biased that any sensitivity on a man's part is construed as "gay" and any strength or assertiveness on a woman's part makes her "man-like". Why we can't be open minded enough to allow for a broader range of emotions and personalities is what holds us back from evolving as a people.
I think it's our own insecurities that hold us back. It so easy to point fingers at those we deem as a bit different in an effort to make us feel more empowered. What we forget is when we point one finger at someone, there are four pointing right back at us. The moral of the story is that we should be more concerned about the quality of person that we are as individuals instead of looking for fault in others. If we all work at being more enlightened and tolerant, the bias that we tend to direct to those we deem as "different' might finally take a back seat to recognize a person's true merit.

I have gay friends and my experience is like yours. They do seem to be caring.
I have a theory. (Don't I always have a theory?) I think they care about other people more because they don't plan on having children of their own. This is probably at a subconscious level.

You see all sort of attitudes about this. Some people just like to make fun of others. They should be told that this is wrong. Some have strong religious feelings abut this. And there is lots of diverse opinions even there. Well reasoned opinions I respect.

I have one objection to the national groups. I wish they wouldn't carry out gay sex in public. I think the same thing about straights.
Telling people over and over again about some aspect of yourself without anybody asking often has an agenda which is not healthy for society. That can be a real turnoff.

But my gay friends are not like that at all. They are very kind and helpful. I respect that a lot.

It is human nature and a sad fact of life that the majority just want everyone else to be like them.Even the little kiddies at school want to dress and look the same as most or they will get picked on...and they do.But not everyone is the same and the ones with the true hearts will be kind to all minority groups and they will let it show and should be proud of doing so.

I don't know why gender preference even has to be an issue when relating to others. There are those people, one user in particular, who have tried to make it an issue ad nauseum! I also have gay friends, but the gender preference issue never comes up - it's the friendship that's important. I have three gay cousins - same thing! Love of family is all that matters! One's sexual identity shouldn't be an issue if we are as open-minded as we claim to be. We don't need to be preached at by one individual going through a sexual identity crisis! This person called me a hateful homophobic with absolutely nothing to base that opinion on! It's not the sexual oreientation that bothered me - it was the blatant ignorance!

Good cool helpful people are habitually cool to help others.
I don't see any reason that a "sexually different preference having'' guy can't help or support any other people for that he doesn't like that sex of the person.
To my opinion friendship is friendship,there's not always sex ,sexual enjoyment benefit or sexual preference related to friendship and humanity for which any human being likes to help other human.

And it's not wise to generalize as " Why are gay men so great"
Gay men are like all other men ie straight men!
But society and culture stare at them in different eyes!
Sorry,if I'm negative but it's the best I can deliver. :)

Take a look at Joensf's answer. It's right on track. I haven't shared this with anyone on the site, but I am "family". It is true that many gay men have been through "the worst". Not only is it very difficult to explore and try and figure out who you are growing up, but to do that with constant hate, bigotry, and uncertainty around you if very trying. I am not saying that all gay men go through this, but many have experienced it or know of someone who has. You appreciate the small "details" of people that make them unique and learn to look past the negatives others point out. To make someone feel good about themselves and to have a good time being who they are is what it is all about!

I can gaurantee, though, that you've had straight men do exactly the same things. Also, I've had gay men be the most stuck-up, arrogently assinine people towards me! And my best friend is a gay guy! It's not so much that they are the most supportive, it's that you've recognized their support because they were gay.

As for why they're ostracized, that has more to do with perception than who they really are.

i dont know but i two wonderfull great gay guy friends! they are allmost better than my lady firends there is just something about them that you gotta love :)

because they are controversial. anything that is different is going to be questioned and misunderstood by the ill informed.