God gave women smaller feet so that they could stand closer to the stove and kitchen sink !!!
Boy, now I'm in trouble big with all the girls !!!

My rather outlandish ones.

Trample the weak! Hurdle the dead!

Never rely on the speeches of the mighty, the calm of the sea, the word of a woman or the courage of your horse.

The mountain doesn't care. (I have done a bit of mountain climbing.)

Sometimes the bulls win, sometimes the bears win, but the pigs never do. (I do a bit of investing.)

I have been married for about 50 years and I have learned never to tell my wife something like you said.

This one got me bad reviews on this site from all the women.
If you want to have a happy life,
Never marry a pretty wife.
( I didn't follow this advice.)

It has no shock value anymore, but my favorite really is
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

"Walk some miles in his/her shoes before you insult that person!"

(When you walk some miles with his shoes you are a long distance away from him.so he can't hear your insults. It's funny! isn't it?)

Before insulting a person we must understand the mind,situation,condition etc of that person whom you feel to insult.That's you must think what you would do if you were that person insulted. Which is phrased as " to be in his/her shoes" or to be in his/her position. So its said "Be in my shoes before you insult me"
or "Walk a mile in my shoes before you insult me"
So the person insulted will reply back to the insulter as "Walk a mile in my shoes before you insult me".

I always laugh when my hubby ( who has had a broken back and very restricted from doing anything) says " ONE DAY WHEN I HAVE NOTHING TO DO I WILL DO SOMETHING "

A women needs to be a cook in the kitchen and a wh*re in the bedroom :-)

My favourite saying is

Destiny in not so much as a matter of chance
but more a matter of choice
the choice is yours - but you have to make it
JUST DO IT

Free Help - Just Help Yourself . . .

if you want something doing properly ....................do it yourself

Your azz is grass and I'm the lawn-mower.

I have the body of a God...Buddha.

Love your enemies....nothing confuses them quite so much.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I stopped reading.