Aww... what's a little hirsutism amongst friends! You could say that you have polycystic ovarian syndrom to explain the beard and say that you work in the circus as the bearded lady.
Oooh, do I have past Halloween pics I could show you! Thankfully, I locked them away for safe keeping. Draw your own conclusions...I may just do that for my October Pic, what do you think? Should I stay with my own hair color or go blonde or red? I'm serious, this was an idea I had, to put a new pic on for Halloween. Dressed as a woman? Hmm. That would be...interesting, to say the least! I'd like to see some of the ladies as men, I won't deny that. Jeez, the images you've put in my mind with this question. I better go stand in my naughty corner!
You could use a temporary color. I can see you as a really awful redhead. What fun! Big dangly earrings (utterly tacky, of course), hey... how about a red headed bag lady! Then you can both be and say BAG!!!!
I'll take all the ideas I can get. I'll have to borrow heavily from my GF's wardrobe(probably a store or two, also), but the possibilities are endless! Now, what about you? Gonna shave that hair and do your Sinead O' Connor bit? Or how about a bad toupee and stage makeup and you can make yourself over into Donald Trump?? I'm not gonna be the only one looking stupid on here come Halloween. You could be Sonny and Marilou could be Cher! How's that for an idea? Oh, BAG!!!