move to kansas and go and marry the man who did not domp you!!!!

just say to the flower guy that i am sorry but i am getting married

be very nice about it

go and be happy like me but i do know how you feel

well just if you want to be happy i would get married but the question is do you want to get married yet are you ready for a new begenning just follow your <3333333 :] :] so dose this solve your problem? yes or no **************************************************
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my name is tayler

Wow, you really are in a dilemma, a predicament indeed...

Simple answer dictates that you follow your heart, right? Sound like you still have feelings for your ex, or at least you're still thinking of him. It also sounds like he's got you hooked, otherwise he wouldn't have your phone number anymore, etc etc if you two really broke up.

But here's my opinion... compare your relationship with your ex and your current one and see where you, not only felt happier and content, but also had the chance to be your own true self.

Moving out of town is a heck of a big step. I think you should hold your horses, my dear. I also feel that you are really contemplating on the move, otherwise you would have done it already or would quickly decide on it. As far as the two men are concerned, stick to what your heart feels, but use your mind wisely. Everybody deserves a chance, I believe, and he may have this chance with you, or he may not (with you). Still, the guy will be okay if he has decided to be okay. If he did the changing for you and not for himself, then I suggest you don't take him back right now (if you're thinking of taking him back) and ask him to continue his therapy. Sometimes it's not what it seems. He could just be desperate for your attention... Think about it.

You have already tested the first fiancee and even if he is taking help of a psychiatist does not mean he will be cured permanently. Your best bet is to go with the second one but this second one is also need to be tested and I hope so that you must have engaged with him after lot of careful thoughts and considerations., since marriage is like walking on a sharp edged sword. Marriage is a couple 1000$ stuff but divorce is tens of thousand dollars in terms of finance.

Oh boy, the tangled web we weave.

Listen, I actually just was at an event where Mrs. New York was speaking on relationship abuse. Her "story" is exactly yours. Starts out with wanting to know where you are, then moves to calling every hour, then screaming and yelling, then she got pushed down a flight of stairs, and then almost killed.

While I am understanding of the guy and am glad he is getting help, being "good" while in therapy and not in a relationship where those "feelings" come back is not the same thing. once you get back together and you start to go out with your friends or whatever he insides will start to tear him apart and all the therapy in the world will PROBABLY not help.

Now of course he may change, but that isn't your problem. If he changed, great, let him find someone else to be with and treat her with dignity and respect and make her happy as he should have done with you.

As for Mr. Kansas... Sounds great, go for it. BUT BUT BUT you really don't sound like you are sure. You really must be sure. There are more than two choices here you know? It could be just nerves and not wanting to move and also not wanting to be treated nicely (you woman always like the bad ones) LOL so either way, yes or no, you should be sure. You really need to look inside yourself and be totally honest with yourself. Personally, you should let yourself be happy for once. I know that is hard, but I think you will like it once you try it.

Peace and good luck, JV

DO NOT GO BACK TO THE OLD BOYFRIEND, you'll regret for the rest of your life AND we out here will worry about you and your well being if you choose wrong! So move to Kansas Dorothy! Your New Red Shoes await you! Good luck and remember to "Choose Happy"


What you do in life, echos in eternity.

Oh wow, you are in a awkward spot! That must be so tough, but heres my advice;

You say this other man in Kansas is a dream guy, treats you right and all, but if you really knew that he was the man for you, you would not even hesitate on moving to Kansas to be with him. And the same goes for him. If he cares for you so much, and knowing that moving isn't what you really want to do, then he would also consider moving out to California to be with you.
Anyways, you seem to still have feelings for your first, and it seems to me that he has taken a really big step to improve himself, and that shows right there that he loves you and wants you back. So the last thing I can say is to really follow your heart, and pay attention to what its saying and it will lead you in the right direction.

Good Luck!
Take Care!

You have be first very sure that you have no feelings for your ex.
Starting a relationship with feelings for the other is not going to help you settle very well.It will be like cheating in this new relationship.
Having said that,remember feelings of jealousy and insecurity is common for those who have very low self esteem.That means ,even with the therapy anything can trigger that .
My advice would be keep the happy memories but move on to create a wonderful life for yourself.Even if the city is new ,don't worry .Your friends and family will be just a phone call away.
Good luck !

If you can't feel 100% sure about either of these men, then do not marry them. You have plenty of time. Nothing has to be done right now. If you want to take another chance with your ex then give yourself another entire year to see who he really is. People can change but he will probably regress some and you need to see how he will pull himself out of it or if he will pull himself out of it. Anger managment is a great tool, but it is only a tool and not a cure.
As for the man in Kansas, it sounds like you are not really totally in love with him. Otherwise, there would be no question as to who you should be with. Don't be so ready to marry that you will just take whoever comes along. You may miss your Soul Mate if you do.

i would move to kansas with the other guy he seems like he loves you very much and the other guy blew it he came back after you had someone else and yes he may be sad but it will prob work out best for you in the long run bc there will not be the chance of your last man relapseing and hurting you again

You are not going to die tomorrow by any likely chance. Most people will say that you should go with your heart, and really that should have a say in what you do. But you should never forget you have two other forms of making decisions. You should not forget to reason, using your brain, which of the two seems more likely to be a good guy, the right guy. While you also have to use your gut, your instinct on which would make the better choice.

If I were you, which I am not, never forget, I would do all the research I possibly could with this psychologist of your ex's. Go to him if necessary and hear the words from his mouth and gauge what he says about your ex.

Remember doubt as well. If you've never seen this guy in Kansas before...or seen him only a few times, you should have some natural doubt about whether or not he'll remain as kind as he has made himself out to be. While remember as well, that if a guy does something once, he can very well do it again.

When it comes down to it, it requires a deep thought process, and quite perhaps a little bit of time.

Like a said, you're not likely to die tomorrow...you have as long as you need to decide which of the two of them are the one for you.