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Arousal and psychology.
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Perhaps you can advise me about a problem I think I understand which, on the other hand, makes no sense to me.
You see, my partner and I have developed an interest in erotic adult spanking and we have started using it as part of our foreplay. I become aroused just thinking about spanking my girlfriend and she is equally enthusiastic about the practise. We have bought “toys” to enhance the experience and as we are both consenting adults, we have both been very excited by the “games” we’ve planned.
The problem is that when we “play”, I loose my erection and seem to loose interest in sex altogether.
I think this is happening through fear of hurting my partner and despite her assurances, my fear she is not enjoying it.
Of course I might be wrong but is there any way of reversing this psychology?
You see, my partner and I have developed an interest in erotic adult spanking and we have started using it as part of our foreplay. I become aroused just thinking about spanking my girlfriend and she is equally enthusiastic about the practise. We have bought “toys” to enhance the experience and as we are both consenting adults, we have both been very excited by the “games” we’ve planned.
The problem is that when we “play”, I loose my erection and seem to loose interest in sex altogether.
I think this is happening through fear of hurting my partner and despite her assurances, my fear she is not enjoying it.
Of course I might be wrong but is there any way of reversing this psychology?
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It was an experiment and it didn't work for either of you! Arrousal is in the brains of the people involved - not in the genitals! Move on!
Answer Date: 05:47pm 09/02/08
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I would have to agree with you. I think fear is killing the eroticism. It´s too bad that Sue Johanson is not going to do a seventh season of Talk Sex on the Oxygen Channel. That elderly woman would have been the perfect person to talk to about your situation.
Answer Date: 05:57pm 09/02/08
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Maybe you are subconciously repulsed by this fetish, especially if you have love and respect for your partner. You could be associating something you think is playful, with an act of violence, deep in your psyche. Instead of forcing your brain to feel otherwise, maybe you should experiment with something else. There are plenty of ways to be creative, sexually. You don't have to be locked into spanking.
Answer Date: 06:19pm 09/02/08
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