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sexless marriage!
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I am a 51 year old woman, married for 22 years! My husband and I have had a very active sex life for the majority of those years. I would say the last 5 have been spiraling! My husband was an alcoholic and I drank also! our relationship started out normal, then proceeded to become very kinky! I must add, most of the time I was very uncomfortable with our new sexual relationship, but because i loved him I agreed to what ever he wanted... to an extent! now sex is non existent! I have gone through the loss of my Mom over the years and think my aging has become the problem! I can still look hot if I dress up! but my problem is I can't even remember the last time he made love to me. I started to except the kinky sex, for any sex and now NOTHING! we have discussed this problem in the past with no results. My husband would tell me he knows he has a problem and that he needs help, but would never seek it!For years I had been making excuses to myself, blaming the alcohol. Then back in July of 2007 the worst night of my life! We call it black Sunday! we both got very drunk at a bar, came home and had a violent fight that put him in jail and me in the hospital! let me say that he has never ever put his hands on me before. But this night was a doozy! I had been married to an abuser previously.Both of us had agreed if it ever got to that point in our marriage then it would be over. Well needless to say neither one of us could recall all the details of that night! and now he is on probation and has been free from alcohol for 8 months, except for one relapse back in November, which resulted in a kinky session! and nothing since. I love him with all my heart and I believe he feels the same,but now I am at the point where I am so depressed & lonely and feel worthless. He use to think I was so hot!! I don't want to end my marriage, but I also don't want to live in a loveless marriage either. My husband has alot of issues that I had excepted all these years and now I feel cheated. Can anyone give me some advice? ( heartbroken in Georgia)
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The answer is simple. You need professional help, dont search the net for this kind of stuff... good luck!
Answer Date: 01:24pm 03/06/08
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its not as bad as it may seem, yes u may feel cheated but think of what he may be going through...u need 2 jus sit and have a face to face with him and see what is going on and how does he feel about the situation...depending on how much love there is in the relationship u dont NEED sex all u need is to feel loved and cared 4, me n my boyfriend waited 3 years to have sex all because i wanted to c if it were all about the sex or not...so maybe hes just testing u, just think about it he is a male...all males want sex he's...
Answer Date: 09:30pm 03/06/08
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You stated that your husband has always had a lot of issues. He sounds very unstable and I'm sure this is not the only example of his unstableness. Sometimes we stay with people because we are just so used to the routine of being with them. We are also scared to put ourselves out there and find someone else. In your situation, you need to remember two things. Firstly, you can never change someone. He seems incapable of change anyway. Secondly, you need to honestly ask yourself if you could stand another 20 yrs of living...
Answer Date: 06:27am 03/07/08
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Professional help is required to save your marriage... counseling recommend not just as a couple but as individuals...
Enough of the alcohol your 51 & drinking like a what??? 20yr old.... you say he's admitted to being a drunk...what about you??? get counseling on that too...
22yrs is a long time to have spent with someone & im sure that deep in...
Enough of the alcohol your 51 & drinking like a what??? 20yr old.... you say he's admitted to being a drunk...what about you??? get counseling on that too...
22yrs is a long time to have spent with someone & im sure that deep in...
Answer Date: 12:46pm 03/07/08
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Yea, I know what you mean. Me and Serena where the same way, If he cant see you for you and be attracted to you still, then I cant answer that cause you are a beatiful women and deserve to be happy. If cheating is not an option then sit him down and talk, and if nothing comes of it then the only way you'll be happy is to may be end. Im sorry, thats not what you wanted to hear. yes I remember BLACK SUNDAY. I was scared shit less for you and am happy to see you doing better. But all I can say is try, until you cant try an...
Answer Date: 08:54pm 03/07/08
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If he is not cheating on you, then stick by him, because you still love eachother. I was a witness to your marriage, "thru sickness and in health, till death do us part". He is definately sick, and treating his alcholism(AA). Now he needs professional help with the rest. Patience, your marriage is not loveless, just sexless.
Answer Date: 11:49pm 03/12/08
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